Barbara Kruger, Untitled (Your body is a battleground) , 1989. © Barbara Kruger.
t/w: this post contains content regarding body image + self criticism
How many times have you had a negative or self critical thought about yourself today? Anything ranging from 'Oh god, that was so annoying' or 'I wish I could change '....' about myself' - self criticism comes in ALL the forms. It is safe to say that self criticism is present within all of us. It's part of human nature. It is argued much of our internal self critical voices originate from lack of fulfilment in childhood, neglect, or in response to our elders reactions to us. Others say we are self critical in order to improve ourselves. However, speaking from my personal perspective, this usually isn't the case and I end up in a vicious circle of negative thoughts about myself. It could also be said that self criticism of our physical image comes from what we have been taught is unattractive. Things that society have told us don't make the cut. This is what I'd like to focus on in today's discussion of self criticism.
Have you noticed how physical features go in and out of trend? A few years ago, hourglass body shapes were completely discounted, the stereotypical figure of a supermodel was in. Said who? Society and its patriarchal voice. We are told what is attractive. It is everchanging and society profits off our insecurites. How would makeup sell without facial trends? How would weight loss programmes, or hourglass fitness videos, or Instagram remain nearly as profitable if our physical insecurities did not exist? Thus proving how our bodies are seen as trends. Further expressing the idea that in a couple of years, another body shape or physical feature will be in and we will want to alter our bodies to fit that trend too. Constantly, we will driving these capitalist patriarchal organisations by chasing temporary body trends. I am curious as to see where it will go next.
It could also be said our internal voice is powered by what others have told us. Maybe someone once told you you should alter your weight, change your figure, or you should wear less makeup. Our minds LOVE to collect reasons which will back up our negative voice and find new things to be insecure about. It may feel more real and believable when we have been directly told by someone that we need to change ourselves. Truly, I believe it's horrendous to suggest change to others regarding their appearance, however I feel pity for those that may do it harmlessly. They are living in the same simulation as us. They are getting told what is attractive too and humans are all mirrors and love to project their own internal insecurities onto others - the same insecurities which originate from society and its patriarchal voice.
Previously, I have faced physical self criticism of my weight - 'you look too skinny' - or of my lips - 'they aren't big enough' and everything else from my toes to my head! Skin tone, eyebrows, leg shape, hip dips, eyelashes, arms, boobs - we have heard and felt it all. I have believed it all too. I have grown up in a society of women (and men) being told how they should look and how they can achieve these unnatural features by going to beauticians or plastic surgeons; anything to achieve the desired look of attractiveness. There should be no shame in doing these things at all. In fact, I encourage people to own their bodies and do whatever the f*** they want to do with them as long as it's healthy. However, the main point behind this post is to urge us all to think about the reasons behind these actions and where the criticism that drives them comes from.
It is a long road when you have been self critical for so long and it is hard to let go of the patriarchy whilst still recognising it. However, it is possible. Next time you look in the mirror and think about the shape of your bum, abs or any possible feature you'd like to change about yourself, think about where it comes from. Why do you wish you were more tanned? Because it's more attractive than being pale. Says who? Society - the society which profits off insecurity and self criticism. It's not something that will come naturally but it's something which is possible. Every time I wish to change something about myself, I try to notice it and then think more deeply into it. I only want to be less skinny because men tell us its unattractive to be 'too skinny' (but also you can't gain too much weight either because that's unattractive too)! It is ridiculous and never-ending.
So now, every time I dismiss a self critical thought about my appearance, I am proud of myself. I truly believe that by fighting our internal self critical voice, we are rejecting the patriarchal narrative we are continually told of what forms attractiveness. It takes a lot to notice it and stop and think deeply of it. When you are able to, it can change your whole outlook of yourself and, therefore, others too. Self criticism will always exist for numerous reasons, but this is one way to combat it.
So let's go fight the patriarchy by rejecting its manipulative narrative of what deems us attractive and unattractive. Every time I dismiss my negative internal voice, I imagine punching a middle class white man that profits from my insecurities in the face.
Commentaires